communicate – Courtney Anne Wilson

Competition vs Collaboration

Published on 31/03/201402/08/2018 by Courtney Anne Wilson4 Comments

Recently in the workplace, and in life, I have been exploring the concept of competition and collaboration. What I have observed is a significantly higher tendency towards competitive behaviour as opposed to collaborative efforts. This left me asking the question why? Is competition really good for business or is it simply a ‘traditional’ way of operating that requires some much needed attention and re-direction?

According to Wikipedia, “Competition occurs naturally between living organisms which co-exist in the same environment. Competition, in biology, ecology, and sociology is a contest between organisms, animals, individuals and groups for territory, a niche, for resources and goods, mates, for prestige, recognition, awards, social status, for leadership. Competition is the opposite of cooperation. It arises whenever at least two parties strive for a goal which cannot be shared or which is desired individually but not in sharing and cooperation”.

In short, we are all born with a natural instinct to compete, but again is this really good for business or life in general? And can we change our habitual nature with emotional intelligence?

“The primary belief that drives competition is that it helps the crème rise to the top, it drives excellence!”

If I think back to my childhood at school, I can see where the idea of ‘excellence’ started with grades, exams, assignments and contests. If you were caught sharing knowledge or collaborating with others, say during an exam or an assignment, this was considered cheating! We were taught from a very young age to compete with one another and to take pride in being the top of the class. And the only way to get there was to know it all…yourself.

Therefore, it’s clear our education has encouraged our natural instinct to compete but again does this really work in life in general? Competition is completely the opposite to most of the aims of building communities, whether as teams, organisations or families. And isn’t this the main driver behind life in general … to build communities?

So while I agree that “competition can help promote curiosity as we see in all the extraordinary innovations in the business, scientific, sport and academic worlds, if unchecked it can also drive a close minded, un-sharing mindset where the focus shifts to defensiveness and protecting what we have”.

What is collaboration?

Collaboration is working with each other to do a task and to achieve shared goals. At the conceptual level, it involves Awareness, Motivation, Participation, Negotiation, Exchange, Reflection and Engagement. Now doesn’t that just feel better!

The aim of collaboration is to produce synergy and coherence, or in other words, cooperation and unity; outcomes that are only possible by working with others. Effective collaboration, however, is hard to achieve, because various businesses, teams and people have different aims, traditions and styles of working. Overcoming differences to create productive collaboration is a key challenge and you can only do this by realising you don’t have all the answers and you don’t need to know it all. As an alternative you recognise the gifts and talents each team player brings and respect that each person has an important part to play in achieving the task at hand or the shared goal. To relate it back to exams, it’s redefining the word cheating into a belief that cheating is in actual fact the act of not sharing! If someone asked you what you thought about a particular question on the exam and you didn’t share your thoughts this would be labelled cheating! Imagine what this belief would create in our society….

So my conclusion is this ….a touch of competition is healthy and can keep us striving towards new discoveries and innovations, yet as they say “two heads are better than one”. And in the sports industry, well, there can only be one winner. However, when it comes to business and life in general, and the type of people you want to work with, be led by and surround yourself with, the world needs more collaboration and team work and less competition and conflict.

So what can you do today to be a better team player?

Courtney ‘Co-Creator’ Wilson

m: +61 (0)417 107 888| e: courtney.connect@outlook.com

What is Your Intention for 2014?

Published on 18/01/201402/08/2018 by Courtney Anne Wilson1 Comment

With the ‘silly season’ behind us, January is a time of rest and reflection. To set new intentions for the year ahead and to honour the year that was. For me, my intention for 2014 is to start to ‘Cultivate Connection’ and build quality relationships both professionally and personally. The experiences of 2013, I have to say, were rough and tough. It showed up all my “stuff” that demanded some much needed attention, pronto. The year highlighted the absolute necessity for me to start relating to people differently; to respond more and react less; to go within rather than seek external validation; and to transform my co-dependent behaviour into healthy relationships.

I ask myself, what is co-dependency?

If you feel that you are not good enough, you compare yourself or search for acceptance from others, you constantly feel like you are the “victim” yet feel guilty when you stand up for yourself; you are reactive, you notice unhealthy habits or have repressed anger, these could be just a few red flags you are co-dependent on someone.

“Co-dependency can occur in any type of relationship, including family, work, friendship, and also romantic, peer or community relationships and often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.”

It’s important not to confuse co-dependence with caring. There is nothing wrong with nurturing; we are all interdependent, however, in short, the needs of the co-dependent are constant.

Low self-esteem and poor boundaries are two of the main symptoms of co-dependency. Co-dependents look to others for the answers and have difficulty seeing others as separate individuals, with their own feelings, needs, and motivations. They feel powerless or incompetent and at the same time responsible and guilty for others’ feelings and actions, which accounts for the high reactivity, conflict and caretaking in co-dependent relationships.

How can I overcome it?

It’s a common saying that you will largely be over your co-dependency when you recognize just how good you are!

It’s always nice to be recognized from a respected peer, friend or family, yet, in order for you to be independent and to build quality relationships you must first give at least 80% of your total recognition to yourself. A simple concept, yet at times, this can be easier said than done, because if you are anything like me, I can be my own worst critic.

In Co-dependency for Dummies, Darlene Lancer states that just a little self-examination, and redirection, may have you on a more fulfilling path. Awareness is a major first step to a new concept, and awareness alone often alleviates many symptoms. If you would like to know a little more, I recommend you watch a short 5 minute video about the 4 A’s of recovery: Abstinence, Awareness, Acceptance, and Action. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlU1bTlrGMY. I personally relate to the notion that recovery is a life long journey and love the part about taking risks and learning from them to create a positive upward spiral along the way.

For me, 2014 is the year to be disciplined when it comes to my thoughts, feelings and behaviours; to force myself to go within for the answers, recognition and acceptance. I’m going to take the risk and set healthy boundaries for myself and for those in my life. It is imperative for me to look after my own needs first and foremost, because only then can I be of true service to others and build quality, healthy relationships.

What is Your Intention for 2014?

Courtney ‘Co-Creator’ Wilson

m: +61 (0)417 107 888| e: courtney.connect@outlook.com

Hello!

Published on 11/01/201402/08/2018 by Courtney Anne Wilson2 Comments

Hi & Welcome to my blog,

It is my soul’s purpose to Cultivate Connection and Build Relationship through CREATIVITY, COMMUNICATION and EDUCATION.

BUILDING RELATIONSHIP = identifying the true value of individuals and organisations in order to cultivate and nurture quality relationships that will establish a coherent and unified humanity and the creation of better solutions for the future.

CREATIVITY = demonstrating the importance of creativity to design life with purpose and support personal creative ability, an essential ingredient to coherent collaboration.

COMMUNICATION = A new way to communicate to bring individuals and/or organisations together, that are aligned in vision, to promote trust, collective determination and achieve unity of effort through sharing knowledge and building consensus.

EDUCATION = providing a safe environment that supports everyone to be informed, do their best thinking and practice and enable group members to better understand coherence, collaboration and co-creation.

Let’s Create, Communicate and Educate together….

Courtney ‘Co-Creator’ Wilson

m: +61 (0)417 107 888| e: courtney.connect@outlook.com