women – Courtney Anne Wilson

As we move from the generation of builders to baby boomers to generation X, Y and now Z our ‘cultural’ roles in society shift with new perception. As a result, there can be a tendency to be left feeling like we don’t know our ‘place’ in the world or that we have to do it all ourselves…. and we all know that doing it on our own can be hard work!

With any type of change comes an initial lack of clarity or uneasiness as we move outside of our comfort zone and when it relates to our role within society we can perhaps forget that we are actually here to come together, play together and work together. Because while we might think we have to do it all ourselves, the reality is that we are, in actual fact, built on collaboration. You just have to look at family. We are born into a ‘team’; we connect and collaborate with other ‘teams’ through marriage; and we procreate our own ‘team’. And we all know that finding the right team is when the magic begins….

So what makes a team work and create lasting magic? In my opinion it is absolutely, without a doubt, in the knowing of ourselves and the understanding of our role in the team and the role of others. So that we can realize, recognize and respect one another (warts and all!). But rather than connecting primarily with our roles from a ‘cultural’ perspective, which as we know can change quite quickly as the years pass by, I highly recommend that we instead focus on connecting with our role in accordance with our identity. That is, our role from a purpose driven perspective. Our core identity does not change; it only becomes clearer as time passes by (so long as we do the work!). This in itself would then ground us with a knowing of who we are, what we are here to give and what we can contribute as member of a team, any type or size of a team, be it personally or professionally. We would have clarity on our personal values and vision and team up with those that have aligned values and/or vision. And herein is the secret ingredient of a team that works and creates lasting magic – aligned values and/or vision. Even in times of stress or creative conflict, which will happen even with the best of teams, this is the glue that keeps you together. Who knows, perhaps society may even start to be influenced by this new perception of knowing ourselves, connecting and building aligned teams….

So who are you? What are your strengths, your gifts to the world?

Through participating in the Living Attributes program “Know yourself, discover your purpose”, facilitated by Elizabeth Ellames, I have revealed that my gift is courage (from the Latin word ‘cor’ meaning heart: to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart) and I love to connect people by sharing knowledge. I am a Collaborator, Facilitator and Rock Star Connector. And in gaining clarity, I have come together with three amazing women, Elizabeth Ellames from Living Attributes, Cherie Rowett from Heart Choice Enterprise and Lisa McAskill from Lisa McAskill Presenting; all three women living on purpose. We all share a vision of ‘Creating Influential Women’ ™ and are working together to develop a Cohesive Leadership for Change™ program. I’ve never felt more alive and fulfilled than when I’m acting on purpose and collaborating with others that have an aligned vision, and this is having a ripple effect throughout my entire life.

So IMAGINE…. discovering or honouring your purpose, values and vision…. connecting with the right team …. and realising your dreams….

Connect with me today and let’s get you collaborating with the right team…

Courtney ‘Co-Creator’ Wilson

m: +61 (0)417 107 888| e: courtney.connect@outlook.com

What do you say to yourself first thing in the morning? When you want to apply for a new job? When you want to ask a question or share your view in a group? When you want to talk to someone for the first time? Or when some new opportunity emerges in your life?

Are they words of encouragement; words of assurance; words that help you to act, to ‘lean in’ and take the ‘road less travelled’?

Or perhaps not….

If you are anything like me, some mornings I just want to keep sleeping! But most mornings I do start the day with one thing I am grateful for, even if it’s the comfortable bed I had the privilege of sleeping in. I also make sure I set an intention do at least one thing towards my dreams and desires, even if it’s simply taking the first small step. Despite my best intentions, however, there are many times when I think I’m not qualified or not smart enough or I don’t recognise my true value. Sometimes I even feel like I’ve missed out on some great opportunities or even given up some things because of a lack in confidence.

So where does this lack of confidence come from?

Firstly, growing up and learning to conform rather than identify what in actual fact I stood for certainly set up a habit of self-doubt. Not clearly knowing what my beliefs and opinions, passion and strengths were set up a pattern of always trying to work out what other people wanted me to be or deemed acceptable; rather than just acting on my own intuition. I end up living in a reality of comparing and contrasting and harsh self-judgement, where I tell myself I’m not as talented as others and stop myself from living my full potential.

As I dig a little deeper, I also uncover that, as a woman, it’s actually true that there’s a gendered disparity in confidence; men overestimate their abilities and skills while women underestimate them. In fact, we’ve known this for some time: “imposter syndrome”, a phenomenon in which high-achieving women believe “they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise”, was first written about in 1978.

To add to this phenomenon, we also still live in a culture that gives women little reason to feel self-assured, despite living in the ‘lucky country’.

In 2014 Australia, if you are a working female you are more likely to earn less, more likely to be discriminated against and less likely to be the boss. According to the World Economic Forum’s annual Global Gender Gap report, Australia ranks 24th in the world, behind Cuba, Nicaragua, Burundi and South Africa in the gender stakes.

In America, Sheryl Sandberg, CEO of Facebook, shares some interesting facts about leadership equality in her book ‘Lean In’. Over half of all professional entry-level roles are filled by women, but only 21% of senior management roles are held by women globally. On corporate America’s Fortune 1000 list, just 4.5% of the CEOs are female, and the pay gap hovers at about 77 cents to every dollar a man makes. Other barriers women still face in the workplace includes “blatant and subtle sexism, discrimination and sexual harassment”. Facts that can be backed up by another source who shockingly states that the Iowa Supreme Court ruled that a woman can be fired if her boss finds her attractive; that a New York court decided that unpaid interns can’t sue for sexual harassment; and the Paycheck Fairness Act was defeated by Republicans who claimed women actually prefer lower-paying jobs.

Similar patterns can be seen in the UK with only three women heading FTSE 100 firms and the overall gender pay gap stubbornly stuck at 18.6%.

And to make things even harder, confident women at work are still labelled “bossy” and “bitchy”, to their own detriment, unless they can “turn it off”. One of the most compelling studies that underline the obstacles women face, though 10 years old but still rings true is the Howard/Heidi study. Two professors wrote up a case study about a real-life entrepreneur named Heidi Roizen, describing how she became a successful venture capitalist by relying on her outgoing personality and huge personal and professional network. The professors had a group of students read Roizen’s story with her real name attached and another group read the story with the name changed to “Howard.” Then the students rated Howard and Heidi on their accomplishments and on how appealing they seemed as colleagues. While the students rated them equally in terms of success, they thought Howard was likeable while Heidi seemed selfish and not “the type of person you would want to hire or work for.” Sandberg’s conclusion: when a man is successful, he is well liked. When a woman does well, people like her less.

As a woman and someone who likes to be liked, no wonder I find it difficult to be confident at times!

So what’s the solution?

Never letting an obstacle or challenge stand in my way, I remind myself of these simple but powerful steps adapted from my experience:

Let the current culture drive you; ‘be the change you want to see in the world’
Define what you stand for; if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything
Give your attention to others; look to where you can help rather than compete
Carry yourself with confidence; your posture and behaviour changes your attitude
Make a 5 minute start on the first step; confidence is built on accomplishment
Accept that very often good enough will do; give yourself permission to be human
Frame mistakes as valuable feedback; Fail your way to success

Most importantly, I surround myself with other empowering individuals and build a support network. I call upon my courage to be confident and to express that confidence in a way that creates meaningful change; a culture that values self-assured women and men equally.

I will leave you with one simple phrase I use whenever I need a confidence boost, special thanks to the twins from MKR…..

“WE’VE GOT THIS”

Together, let’s change the culture of confidence.

Courtney ‘Co-Creator’ Wilson

m: +61 (0)417 107 888| e: courtney.connect@outlook.com